Positive Thinking

I don’t have any answers
to questions like
why am I here?
what am I doing?
what do I want?
And they aren’t just going
to miraculously land
in my lap.
I’ve waited long enough.
Been in this monotonous bubble
of confusion, angst, self-pity
& hopelessness long enough.
Now it’s time to randomly
& fearlessly
decide
then do
something
even if it’s not “right”.
And my life will get better.

Nomad

Abandon one shell & all its contents impulsively, while he’s comatose & can’t catch me in nylon mesh. I’m petrified. Still I crawl, naked, now shell-less, no heat—cold in sand at night, nothing to eat. Next time I’ll stockpile barnacles & snails for hunger so deep to the empty core, incomplete. Keep crawling shell to shell find a happy ending & home, seek safe place to burrow away from the sun’s deterministic rays, look outside myself. Still don’t find a solid shell, so I’m soft & driven by a dry hypothalamus. Parallel to the seashore, I crabwalk across the grains of this absurd beach where Meursault killed the Arab…just because.