G: 24 8 2007, T: 30 8 2007

Grass is Greener Complex

If I were to tell you, Dear

that the Grass is greener

right here,

Would you marry me

to a Riddle or a Maxim

that I might hold, Dear?

A Deer and A Doe

are in the middle of a Prarie,

with a hammer and the Nazarene

so is their Grass green?

A merman stubs his toe

on the Glass of broken wine-glasses,

sucking at the sore scene

is his Grass green?

"I bought a handsom bottle of breakfast wine from the corner store,"

and "Tip," says god

the Wine is gone--

cradled in the Hands of Raw

Picked and Peddled his way

to Jaru-Salem, Mass.

There He stood before me in

line,

Small talk about the Rainy Day.

The last question I have for you, Lord Gray,

Is your grass green beneath the earth in the Rain?

A Timeline of Reluctance

Her leaves stare through the window of the classroom, like perverts peeking on me in the shower:
So curious of what time it is.
Nestled in her rather stiff and uninviting crevice,
I love this lady, Tree!
Does she love me?
I don't think so, afterall I am like them
I shit, take, and pillage her Dear Soul
with carcinogens and a Cancerous
Will not to feel guilt.

She is so cool
solitary
anorexic, but I- the opposite-
(Am I her Yin?) No.
Displeased with this snug societal gluttony,
I wish I could just stand and shake my fist!
or yet
wish things were different
here in her Home.

It isn't difficult to see my part
in her disfunctional family.
Some accusatory daughter,
"What Time did you get Home last night?"

As I slept warm in my bed.

Golden Age

• So right now, I'm in Indy. I did my first college homework today, my first college art class yesterday (Beginning Ceramics, wheel throwing) and almost everything has gone according to plan thus far. I'm not really sure what all of the fuss is with picking schools. It took me 2 years to settle for a state school, and I am very much in doubt that it is a lesser quality education than (place big city art institution here). All of my teachers have Ph.D's and are very obscure. Then again, I'm taking some honors classes.
• I have an idea and I think I'll run with it. I think I'll stay here for 2 years and then transfer to Humboldt State University, after taking 3 semesters of some foreign language, because that's what they require.
• Why am I wasting my time on this computer?
• In the class next to this computer, the professor is talking about how the military can not take the huge risk of promoting/accepting homosexuality, and it is sort of amusing. He is so passionate and determined to get this point across.
• A few weeks ago, I don't remember what it was, but something sparked those old memories of mine, and I've been quite disturbed about Everything since then. I'm starting to notice the consistency in the times of day that I feel most insecure about life, and most regretful of things that I have done and not done. This pain in my heart from them will go away, as the times of day that those old *sentiments come back are waning in number.
• ...not that I should have even written something that personal in here.
• So gratifying it is to work very hard at something [art] and to see it evolving itself, after time, without really having to brainstorm or use one's conscious mind to think about what it is, or where you might go with it.
• *I think sentiments is the perfect word to describe Them.
• I still haven't finished Walden or any of the other books that I should be reading.

*I miss New England, and I still conjure up ways that I could go back. I think about it several times everyday, about just disappearing and going back to the city where I can feel the Gold everywhere. It's like I buried some sort of treasure there a billion years ago and the essence that is me is continually pulled to it. I'm beginning to wonder if it's just in my nature to wish that I could Time Travel. or to wish that I could be two (or twenty) places at once. or maybe to just run. Flee the scene of the crime. Am I a criminal?

• I vaguely remember there being a time when I could do those things. Whether it is still that Time; and if not, when/if it might be again, I don't know.