So, even though Yule isn't here yet- today is winter. I looked out the window this morning and was amazed by the many inches of snow that had piled up over night... and just yesterday I thought about how Indy looks much better with the dead trees than it looked when they were green. I am head over heels in love with this natural cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. Seeing the cycles right before my eyes, month after month, gives me a feeling of stability in a world where everything seems so chaotic...unplanned...sudden. It reminds me that everything goes through the cycle, over and over again; including humanity. The fear and paranoia of what is to come-- whether I call it the apocalypse, Global Warming, a conspiracy, the War on [insert something to be afraid of], or even whether I choose not to see it--is erased by the blankness of the snow. The snow is so clean, pure, and dead that it seems like the most natural thing to happen since last spring when the trees budded.
Also, it reminds me of a time when I wasn't so taken my worldly issues. When a 2-hour delay was much more promising, because I spent my time in activities that didn't seem so important. They didn't have the affect on my life that every single day does now, or so I thought. Since school started, everything has just mattered a lot more than it ever did back then. Treading through the snow with Thomas or Sarah T., for no real purpose other than maybe to go to South Gate to steal stickers, or to go to Caleb's because it was the only thing to do. Bills and paychecks and financial aid and finals and George Bush didn't exist then, and so the stress of thinking about them and jumping through their hoops didn't either.
Winter means solace for my worried mind.
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