365 days around the sun
365 ways I must’ve won
against the Demon telling me to die
each One Day At A Time.
Through the doubt I’ve made keys
each day that I’d use to get me
through the barrage of horrifying thoughts
through the wars I’ve previously fought
cause it’s the same shit but a different day
so every ODAAT I have to find a new way
cause my brain shifts every night when I sleep
and the Demon gets stronger and it builds a new lock
so I have to work fast to cut a new key to keep
my power in my corner and my mind off the Demon.
She says I want to die and she says there’s no reason
to live, anyway, and my family doesn’t care
if I die anyway, I’ll be out of their hair
I’m a burden & a curse & her voice sounds like
distortion
even my mom wishes her mom had an abortion
and I’ve wished she did too, still regretted my three.
I sent my angels to live in purgatory.
But this Earth is Hell and I couldn’t find the key
the demon held those days, cause I was locked on the drink.
I got the key when I became willing
to lose anyone and do anything just to follow a rule
mom tried to make for me when I was young.
I broke and broke it until it broke me.
But the Demon didn’t die, it just relinquished the key.
Now it changes the locks every fucking day on me.
So I’ve gotta stay here right now for today
and some fucking how I’ve gotta find a way
not to pull the trigger on this 9-millimeter.
Whatever gets me through the night’s alright if I follow the
Rule.
I keep cutting new keys and each day feels so cruel
every time I hear his handheld radio squeal,
“No one is coming.
There is no rescue.”
So I take out my tools and try to find a fresh cue.
The one that is going to get me through.
I cut a new key to open this new lock.
There’s none in the store & none in stock.
I can’t do it alone or lean too much on my friends.
I’ve gotta do me alone and that’s just the way it is.
As boring as it sounds, it’s better than the abyss.
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